Tainted Soul
by EenvoudigMij
Summary: Sex and rape. Don't read if you can't handle it. BxJ BxE. Oneshot.


Ok so we all know the drill, Nope don't own Twilight, Nope don't own Edward altho I wouldn't mind having him.

Hope you enjoy. Please review, I haven't written in a long time and was kind of worried to put this up. It ended up in my head being longer and having chapters but you all hate me uberly short chapters so I decided for a one shot. Thanks guys, Much love!

**UPDATE**Please not I had to use Notepad to write this. There are formatting and grammar errors. For some reason it decided to delete a lot of my punctuation. Sorry I'm not taking the time to fix all the mistakes. Deal with it.

* * *

I woke up in his warm embrace, god how I loved him. Everything about him, he was perfect. My Edward. My one and only. "Morning Bella." He kissed my forehead.  
I snuggled deeper into his embrace.  
He chuckled "I'm not leaving for a few hours love, we have time"  
Edward was leaving, this time everyone was going and I was going to be left in the hands of the pack. This was the first time that all the Cullens would be gone at the same time. I was a little worried but the tribe would protect me no matter what.  
I sighed and took in as much of him as I could, kissing his chest, I had managed to get him to leave his shirt off all night and was greeted with the pleasure this morning. "I'll miss you too, Bella, more than ever"  
I smiled, he was so sweet. The turning was coming soon, thus why all the Cullens were leaving, they were all preparing, everything was going to run smoothly. I just had to keep reminding myself. These next few days would be the last time I'd see the pack. Or Charlie for that matter, in a few days I'd be one of them...a vampire.

The phone rang and I reached over to grab it. "Hey bells!" Jake's deep voice came from the receiver.  
"Hi Jake"  
"Can you meet me in the forest behind your house instead of getting dropped at the boarder"  
"Sure, why?" "Nothing I just want some time to talk with you and thought a nice walk through the forest would be...fun"  
"Um, ok Jake, sure thing. Behind my house at 1"  
"Alright Bells see you then!" He hung up.  
That was weird but whatever, it was a gorgeous day in Forks...for the first time in like ever.

Edward looked at me. "What was that all about"  
I shrugged, he knew as much as me, of course he had heard Jake as well as I.

I spent the next 2 or so hours with Edward saying goodbyes and not wanting him to go. When he left I went out back to meet Jake.

...

I walked through the forest scanning the trees and looking for Jake, in wolf or human form.  
Jake appeared beside me without so much as a rustle of leaves. "Hey bells." I screamed "For god's sake Jake would you not do that"  
He laughed "Sorry"  
We walked silently for a while. He was seeming odd and I didn't know what was up. "You said you wanted to talk"  
"Well kinda"  
"What's up?" He stopped and I stopped to look at him. He looked down at me, his eyes all of a sudden burning. I almost didn't recognize him. "Bells. I love you"  
I sighed "Jake, you know I love you too"  
He cut me off "But you love that leech more"  
"For heavens sake Jake knock it off. I'll go home right now if all you want to do is try to steal me for Edward"  
"I can't steal you from him Bella." He grabbed me, his voice had dropped and he was starting to shake. "But I can make it so he'll never want you. You'll have to come to me." He pushed me against a tree and started kissing me, rough and hard. Nothing like Edward.  
I tried to push him away, tried to kick him, tried to bite his tongue, ANYTHING! But he wouldn't stop, he wouldn't go away. He was starting to leave bruises. He moved down, kissing my neck and I tried to plead with him "Jake, you're hurting me, please stop! PLEASE Jake"  
He didn't, he ripped off my shirt and recklessly grabbed at my breasts. When I tried to scream he covered my mouth with his again and forced his tongue into me. He kicked off his shoes and started undressing, keeping me pinned to the tree with his chest.  
Tears came to my eyes "PLEASE Jake! You don't want to do this. Jake PLEASE"  
"I have to show you that you love me Bella, I have to." He forced me to the ground. He pushed his boxers off and then started trying to get my pants off, I wiggled and tried to get him off but he was so big, so strong, I couldn't move. There was nothing I could do. I started sobbing, he was right, Edward wouldn't want me.  
He got my pants off and just tore my underwear away. "I love you Bells, I love you so much." He murmured as he pushed into me. He stopped at my barrier, my virginity, all I'd been keeping for Edward, holding for him. He pulled out then thrust with all his weight back into me as he tore me, tore my insides and sanity. I sobbed, I had only wanted Edward, only dreamed of him having me. Now I was ruined, ruined forever. I felt the blood of my core ooze down my legs.  
"I love you." He kept whispering over my body, as he took everything, ruined all of me and tainted my soul. He kissed my stomach and lapped at my chest. Ocasionally he'd come and try to force me to kiss him. I always tried my hardest to get away. "Why are you ruining me Jake? Why?" I sobbed.  
He beat into me, taking everything. "I'm showing you how much I care Bella." He moaned, at least he was getting pleasure from my demise. Edward would never want me, he'd leave me again. My voice was growing hoarse from screaming as he-he-he raped me. Jacob, my Jacob. Strong and Powerful was now ruining me, ruining my world, my life.  
He came inside of me and collapsed on top of me, moaning and panting hard. "My Sweet Bella"  
"No!" I cried. That was what Edward called me, I'd never be his sweet Bella. I screamed hoarsely as my heart broke and realisation hit. I'd never be Edward's sweet Bella again either.  
Jacob stood up and dressed. "C'mon Bells"  
"NO! Get away from me." I scooted away from him, tried to get away. "Bella c'mon"  
"NO Jake! Leave me, go away!" I screamed with all my might. "Fine Bells, I'll leave the door open." He ran off.  
I curled up and cried.

...

EPOV We were hunting, I had just bagged a huge mountain lion when Alice screamed. I dropped and ran to her, arriving with everyone else. We all waited patiently, well tried, till she finally calmed enough to tell us.  
"I had a vision. We have to go!" She panicked.  
"What's wrong?" Esme asked, trying to keep everyone calm.  
I didn't have time for her melodramatic crap, I racked her brain. Oh god. I saw it. "BELLA! NO!" I spun and took off towards the car, running as fast as I could. I started it and only Alice and Emmett managed to get in before I tore off towards Forks, towards Bella. "What's going on?" Emmett demanded. "Bella" Alice shivered. "What?" Emmett was getting impatient. "SHE'S ALONE. AND BROKEN." I yelled, zooming past 160mph up the freeway.  
Emmett retreated and sat quietly the whole ride. I stopped at her house and ran back into the woods. "BELLA! BELLA!" I yelled, running around, trying, trying so hard to find her. Alice and Emmett were on my heels. When I saw her I dropped. I dropped to my knees in front of her, my heart shattering into a million pieces. She was bruised, her eyes overflowing with tears and red. She was hurt. And not just on the outside. When she looked at me all I could see was fear in her eyes, I didn't see her anymore, my sweet Bella.  
I reached out to her and she recoiled, "Don't touch me." She sobbed. If I had a soul, it was gone to. Emmett pulled me away but I couldn't take my eyes off of her, my love, my everything. I'd kill whoever did this. Where the hell had Jake been? I knew I couldn't trust him! I KNEW it. She had promised me, she had promised everything would be ok, that she'd stay safe for me. I shouldn't have left.  
I watched as Alice bent down and tried to talk to her, Bella didn't want her close either but finally gave in and we took her home, to our house. Charlie couldn't know.

...

BPOV I woke up, hoping, wishing it was all a dream but I could feel the hum of pain deep in my core that even the massive drugs that had knocked me out couldn't hide. And my memories, they were the worst. I had been tortured with images of Jake raping me since I close my eyes and nothing would take them away. At least now with my eyes open I could try to focus on my surroundings instead of my ruin.  
I think I was in Alice's room. Rosalie's I imagined more girly, Charlisle's more formal and it definitaly wasn't Edward's. I didn't want anyone to touch me, I was ruined and I just wanted to die.  
Charlisle stepped up to the edge of the bed. I balked from him but he didn't try to touch me. "Shhhh Bella, it's alright, I won't hurt you." He looked over me. "I gave you some meds, I hope they are working well"  
I nodded. Thanks for the meds, altho I wish he could erase my memory.  
"Good." he smiled softly. "Edward would like to see you." I winced. "No, I'm filthy. Please no"  
"Alice cleaned you up you're fine Bella." He soothed.  
"No, no I'm not, I never will be." "Shhh alright Bella, I'll leave you alone. Go back to sleep, it's best now." He started back towards the door.  
"Mr. Cullen?" I asked hoarsely.  
He stepped back, "shh Bella you know you can call me Carlisle, I'd per fer it. You are family"  
A few tears fell, "could I have something for my throat?" I managed to get out.  
"Oh sure Bella, I'll be right back. Just try and relax"  
Relax, yea right. After I got my throat medicine he left and I was able to resume unconsciousness. I think he gave me more drugs because my dreams seemed to be sweeter.

I woke up to them yelling. More specifically Edward and Carlisle. "Edward please, she asked that you not see her, respect her wishes." Carlisle was calm, as usual.  
Edward growled. "She is my everything and she is broken, I need to see her. I NEED to know she's alright"  
"Well she isn't"  
I believe the whole house shaking and the loud noise was from Edward punching the wall. "Don't say that." He hissed.  
"Well it's true"  
"I need to see her Carlisle." His voice was pained and sounded like death itself.  
"Let him in." I managed.  
Edward burst in and was at my side in seconds. I balked from him and he stepped back and sat in a chair beside the bed. Carlisle shut the door and left us.  
I looked up at him. The hurt I saw killed me inside. I wanted to soothe him but once he knew, he'd leave me. He'd leave and never come back. I wasn't worth it anymore, I was ruined. Everything was gone, over. My whole life in shreds. I started crying again, when had I stopped?  
"Shhh bella, my sweet bella." he crooned. "What happened, who hurt you"  
I shook my head, I didn't want to tell him, I couldn't. Could the world just go away? Just go away! I clenched my eyes closed and willed the world away.  
I felt his cold hand land on my cheek. I couldn't move, he touched me. My Edward, my heart and my soul. I didn't want to loose him again, just one more day. One more day with the love of my life.  
He brushed my tears away. "Shhh my love it will be alright." Yea right, he didn't know I was ruined. "I'm ruined." I whispered. "I'm filthy, you could never love me"  
He moved to the edge of the bed. "Bella, my sweet Bella what are you talking about?" His velvet voice soothed. "I will always love you, only you. For the rest of eternity"  
I started sobbing again, if he found out, it would all go away.  
He laid down and curled up to me. He pulled me close to his chest. I didn't want to, I didn't want him to touch me but I couldn't help it. I wanted him. I wanted him to take away the pain, the hurt. How could Jacob do this to me? He said he loved me but he raped me, he raped me.  
Edward cradled me and started to sing my lullaby. I shortly relaxed and snuggled into him for some needy rest. I didn't have nightmares, not with my protector.

When I woke up Edward was still there, in one of his 'vamp' sleeps. I watched him for a while.  
"Morning Bella"  
I jerked. I hadn't known he was faking.  
He reached up and kissed me softly before I had a chance to pull away. I tried to stay in my taken back set of mind but his lips were so soft and he smelled so sweet.  
"Bella. Would you tell me what happened?" He curled up with me.  
I pushed down the covers then started to push down my pants. "Bella." He set his hand on mine. "What are you doing"  
"Showing you." I said softly.  
He tensed. I pushed down my pants, the first time he'd see me naked and it was because someone else had raped me. Once my underwear and pants were down and my bruised hips and thighs were bared, I closed my eyes, unable to look at him. I felt like trash, nothing.  
He was so still, my statue. Cold and stiff as marble.  
"My Bella." He set his hand on my stomach, I jerked, not expecting it and sucked my breath in. "Jake did this." He ran his hand down, slowly. Lower and lower till his hand was between my legs.  
My thighs were shaking with fear, I wanted him to touch me, to make Jake's taking go away and mean nothing. But I was scared, prepared for him to leave me, to run and never come back. To leave me ruined and broken. Just like Jake.  
"I'm so sorry Bella. I shouldn't have left you, not alone. I thought I could trust him." He shook his head. "I'm so sorry." He was blaming himself, he hadn't done anything. I looked up at him. He looked broken, just as hurt as I. He was looking at my bruised self. Watching with horror. He ran his fingers over my opening. He was touching me. He was accepting me, even after I was ruined by another.  
I shuddered. "Edward please"  
"Please what"  
"Don't, I'm hurt"  
"I want to take your pain away. I want to take him away"  
The tears started again. I was ruined and he still wanted to comfort me.  
"Bella, My sweet, did you come for him"  
I started shaking. "No, it hurt. It hurt so bad, Edward, he didn't care." I managed.  
He kissed me, softly, so softly. "Shhh Bella, it won't hurt, I won't hurt you." He slipped a finger into me and I tensed up. "Shhh Bella, close your eyes. I'll take care of you"  
I laid my head back and closed my eyes. I tried to relax, he stayed still as I forced myself to calm then he kissed me. As I relaxed and kissed him back he started to finger me, he was gentle as if he knew where I was sore and where it felt good. He was amazing, my Edward. He kissed me and fingered me, going beyond his restrictive boundaries to make me feel good. To make me feel like I meant something again. He whispered soft murmurs of love and dedication in my ear and against my mouth. He kissed all over my face and neck. It felt good, he restrained himself to give me pleasure.  
When I was close he moved up to my ear. "My sweet Bella, come for me my love. Come for me like you didn't for him." He frenched me and I came for him, just like he asked. Relaxing in his embrace, letting him hold me.  
He took off his shirt and then asked if he could take off mine. I wanted him to have me, all of me so I let him and he laid me naked against his body. For the first time I felt his bare chest against my bare. I blushed softly as he ran his hand over my chest and marveled in the body I was so embarrassed of. He tucked me against him and the blanket around us. He sang me my lullaby and I fell to his words:  
"I love you, Bella. Always and Forever. There will be no other."


End file.
